Date: 26th March 2008 at 5:56am
Written by:

What with the tea lady’s flea-ridden cat, the window cleaner’s mate and the dish washer at the pukka pie stall all offering their rendering of what’s happening, or what earth-moving decisions are being made behind the walls that enfold the board room at Sheffield Wednesday, we are now presented with a saga of epic proportions that echo the same punch line of another saga – ‘Frankly my dear.. I don’t give a damn’.

I have no more hair left to pull out, I have bitten off all my fingernails and if I could only reach my toenails I would have started munching on those too. My battered and bruised cat has left home, my wife has banned me from watching TV on a Sunday morning and my boss thinks that vandals have caused all the dents in the door of my company car.

I have come to a conscious decision – I don`t really give a monkey’s uncle about all the squabbles, the rumours, the politics, and all the innuendos that seem to aimlessly fly over Hillsborough like flies over a jam pot. What I really care about is the team’s current plight, the struggles we have had since the beginning of the season, and I wish to clarify here and now that if there’s a manager who can see us through this period, then we have the best man at the helm in Brian Laws.

Regardless of whether or not Sheffield Wednesday are taken over by a Russian billionaire or that a distant echo of flatulence resulting from a mouldy cucumber sandwich in the Director’s canteen had been misinterpreted by a fervent sports columnist for the Green Un, we the fans, the team and the manager, need to concentrate on surviving this relegation struggle regardless.

And quite truthfully, although I am guilty of throwing the same accusations as the rest of you at some members of the playing staff, it makes my heart warm with a sense of admiration when players such as Burton, Hinds, Gilbert etc, return to the team and then defy the low opinion we have all shared for so long and, in the case of Burton, scoring vital match winning goals too.

The poor little beggars: the playing staff must be just as confused and frustrated as I am. They are just as susceptible to all these rumours as are the fans, and all the talks of take-overs, financial investment and even administration must be affecting them both off and on the field. And, what of Brian Laws and his future at the club? It’s a credit to the club that the players are giving us 100% effort and that the manager doesn’t give a fig about what the media says. And the fans? Well, they simply continue dreaming and their new chant is ‘Gi’ us the money!’.

However, although I do not claim to be a religious fanatic, these past few months have convinced me that God must indeed be a Sheffield United supporter, because sure enough, it’s been pure Hell at Hillsborough this season. Yet, if it means putting a few choir boy’s noses out of joint and sporting a pointed tail for the rest of the year and we stay in the Championship, then I am up for it.

Because ‘Frankly my dears, I just don’t give a damn’.