Date: 16th March 2011 at 4:58pm
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Owls striker Paul Heffernan did his trademark ‘come off the bench and score’ routine last night. Vital writer Ian leads the calls for a first-team start for ‘The Heff’

I will not discuss last night’s match, trauma like that is best reviewed with the aid of a psychiatrist, writes Ian.

What a change (again) was made by Paul Heffernan coming on.

So why don’t we seem more of him?

I remember an English lesson at which we had to read the Rhyme of the Ancient Mariner, a long poem about a sailor who shoots an albatross and then suffers terrible bad luck.

I imagine just after signing for the Owls Paul Heffernan must have accidently shot an albatross, which killed a black cat as it landed, knocked Paul over into a mirror which broke as he tumbled under a ladder.

How else can we explain the lack of the Heff in our side this season?

Whilst most of players play miserably until half time, and then come out and play ‘better’ in the second half, when they feel the pressure to win is off, we have hardly seen anything of Heffernan in order to judge his contribution.

What we have seen of him has looked good, and just the thing we need with this formation (besides a new midfield, defence and a few strikers obviously), a backwards facing striker, good at the link play, does not stand around and point, and excellent alongside a tall striker.

Yet sadly we have seen little of him. Not only does he not start games, but inexplicably, often does not come on as a substitute either.

The North Stand where I sit (and suffer) usually call for him to come on when substitutes warm up, including a woman behind me who gets so excited and so shrill shouting for him to come on her voice goes up two octaves until it can only be heard by dogs!

Today I heard on the radio that Mandaric was equally disappointed with the appalling performances. So come on Garry, our season is over (apart from the very real threat of relegation), so don’t hassle The Heff, play him instead.