Date: 1st April 2007 at 9:08am
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OK, it’s gone 12, so we can reveal to all our readers that this is/was, of course, an APRIL FOOL!

Glad we got some of you, and if you haven’t seen it yet, read below…




The Chinese group looking to take over Wednesday have stepped up their bid to take control, and Vital SWFC can reveal some of the changes they have planned…

During a routine visit to Middlewood Road for a press conference, an unnamed source revealed to Vital SWFC some of the more unusual requests made by the contingent of Chinese businessmen who had a tour of the facilities at S6 on Tuesday March 6th (the night of the Plymouth match).

No discussion took place over the future of the team or management, but the stadium itself was subject to a rather more thorough examination..and some surprising changes were suggested.

It seems that, in order to achieve a more harmonious balance of energy on matchday (according to feng shui principles), it was suggested that the dressing rooms be moved to the North Stand.

Apparently, Qi (or life energy) flowing from the South is dynamic, restless and energetic. These are qualities already present in the team, and the Chinese investors felt that a balance needs to be achieved between that and the Qi flowing from the North, which is diplomatic and intuitive.

Simply put, the dressing rooms in the South stand would not maintain the essential balance of energy.

It was further explained that Qi is carried in the wind and retained in water. The open corners of the stadium were felt to be a good thing: wind carries energy and is representative of action, fervor, and enthusiasm. However, water is representative of internal strength, meditative qualities, and psychological power, and one or two suggestions including the presence of water features in the stadium and potentially around the pitch were made.

Other changes would include the hanging of mirrors in appropriate places, since these objects are believed to have the power of redirecting, reflecting, or shifting energy in a space. Whether this would be to the detriment of the opposing team was not enlarged upon, but the source indicated to Vital SWFC that the head of the consortium, Mr. Loo Far Lip, smiled knowingly when asked.

Should the Chinese investors succeed in their bid to gain a measure of control at Hillsborough, it does seem that one or more of these proposals would be put in place. Owls fans may indeed be introduced to cultural change in addition to the new faces at the ground.